GET ME OFF THIS MERRY-GO-ROUND!

4/27/2013

 
Picture
Don't get me wrong, I love merry-go-rounds and fun,
but some rides aren't worth the price of a ticket.

I love to give. Serving others puts a grin on my face and a bounce in my step.
Seeing joy light another's gaze fills me.
It's in receiving that I struggle. Sound familiar?

For me, this stems from a long held belief that I don't deserve. I know this is bunk. If a friend hesitated to accept a compliment or gift, I'd remind her that I loved her and she's worthy.  Allowing me to show my appreciation and gratitude makes me happy.
We all feel this.
So why do we push off compliments and gifts with negative remarks?
We deflect with comments like:
Oh, you shouldn't have. This old thing? I picked it up on sale. It's nothing.
Guilty?
Oh yeah. I've used them all at one time or another.
Each time we brush off a gift or compliment, we tell the giver and ourselves that the gift is wasted. We won't receive it.
They were wrong to offer it.

Bull and double bull!

These statements are not signs of humility. They are proof of broken self esteem and leave the giver feeling bad. We didn't want their gift.
With our deflecting words, we sent it back unopened.
Rude! Selfish not humble! Selfish? Yep. We are more concerned in protecting our twisted view of self than being gracious and allowing them to feel good for a moment.
It's time to get off the merry-go-round of crap and scrape off our tennies.
Don't rob others of the joy of giving. Accept graciously with a simple, thank you.

This week, practice accepting graciously. Thank you with a smile is enough.
Appropriate acceptance promotes more giving and joy.

Spread joy and leave the crap in the pasture.

Your comments are greatly appreciated.
Rhonda link
4/27/2013 04:22:26 am

Wonderful advice, Sandy. I know I'm guilty of this, especially in regards to compliments. Will definitely work on it. :-)

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 04:30:08 am

Rhonda! You are such a caring and supportive person. I adore your posts. Now for practice, just say, thank you.
Practice is a big part of change. go for it!

ll muir
4/27/2013 04:23:21 am

Well, that was a shock.
I shall do better.
Thanks.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 04:31:40 am

Yeah. A shock? I'm sure you had to laugh at this post.
You know me so well. Thank you for your support and sharing your creative brilliance. You are one light that keeps me moving ahead.

Tiffinie link
4/27/2013 05:01:55 am

Great advice. A simple, sincere thank you is always the best response. Silence the inner demons that want to drag you down. Conquer them with thank yous!

Thank you, Sandy. I am passing this along.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 05:24:33 am

Thank you for the support and passing the word!
We all struggle, but some things are as simple as thank you.
Excellent comments!

Ella Quinn link
4/27/2013 05:40:38 am

I think women, at least of my generation, were taught to be self-effacing. I love getting compliments, and have learned to say thank you. But I still feel just a bit guilty.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 11:09:54 am

I understand. I am a woman from that era. We never wanted to appear proud. I'm over that. Saying thank you is not arrogance, it's manners.

PJ Sharon link
4/27/2013 05:47:28 am

As a child who was active in the world of figure skating and performing, I learned to say thank you with a smile. My mom taught me that sharing the beauty of my "art' was a gift to others and that the compliments were the audiences way of showing appreciation. I try to remember that when someone pays me a compliment or gives me a gift, it means that I have already blessed them in some way and I am grateful for that opportunity.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 11:41:37 pm

Beautiful memories eloquently expressed. Expressing ourselves through talents garners appreciation. Your mom did a good thing in teaching you this. Well said!

Wendy Dewar Hughes link
4/27/2013 07:13:58 am

Many years ago I decided that graciousness was a trait I wanted to cultivate so I watched others to see how they did things in social situations. From that I learned that the perfect way to handle a compliment is to simply reply, "Why, thank-you. What a nice thing to say."

This response also compliments the "complimentor" by acknowledging her graciousness.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 11:44:29 pm

Wendy, that's the most wonderful response! I'm adding this to my list.
Thank you!

Joelene Coleman link
4/27/2013 08:57:27 am

Wonderful words of wisdom as always. "Thank you," friend.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 11:45:35 pm

Thank you for checking in and for supporting the blog.
Hugs!

Pat McDermott link
4/27/2013 09:43:59 am

Good reminders here, Sandy. If we remember that gracious acceptance of a compliment pleases the giver of the compliment and makes him/her feel good, it's easier to say thank you.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/27/2013 11:49:13 pm

Thank you, Pat! A simple thank you isn't about us, it's about giving back. I appreciate you taking the time to check in and comment. Thank you!

Lizzie Walker link
4/28/2013 01:41:13 am

I can SO relate to this. All my life it's been hard to accept compliments but giving them is way easier. I recognized having self esteem issues can hinder you from being appreciative of self and also appreciative of the giver of the compliment. My husband has taught me a lot. He would not let me get away with shrinking from his words that always make me feel good about myself. And so it feels good to give and receive wholly, freely, and thankfully with an open heart.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/28/2013 05:05:03 am

Thank you for sharing your struggle with self esteem and accepting the heart felt comments shared with grace. Your husband sounds like a good man. I'm glad that you have his love and support. Thank you for your willingness to serve the rest of us.

JC Page
4/28/2013 02:59:22 am

Thank-you Sandy! So true...Love your posts. Always make me think:)

Sandy L Rowland link
4/28/2013 05:06:12 am

I'm glad that you find some value in the posts. Thank you for sharing your comments and support.

Craig
4/29/2013 01:31:24 am

In receiving gifts graciously, we return to the giver a measure of self-esteem, letting them know they have done something good and that we consider their efforts worthwhile.

Sandy L Rowland link
4/29/2013 01:59:36 am

Exactly right! This should be the goal. Thank you for checking out the blog and taking the time to share your thoughts and wisdom.

Donna Velleman
4/30/2013 02:46:16 pm

True words, Sandy. I used to flick off compliments. I now try to remember to say thank you even if I feel uncomfortable inside.

Sandy L Rowland link
5/1/2013 04:30:46 am

Good for you, Donna! Many women were trained to deflect compliments as a sign of humility. I'm glad that you're fighting the programing for a healthy view of yourself and the giver.

Reid Lance Rosenthal link
6/17/2013 04:05:17 am

GREAT blog!! Truly exceptional--not just the writing, which brings smiles and nods of the head--but the thought, which generates introspection.

Sandy L Rowland link
6/17/2013 05:18:14 am

High praise coming from you, Reid. I see you're running like a wild man. Thank you for taking the time to give me a read. Best to you!


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